


Pink Camellias

by StopProcrastinating



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: AU, Angst, Blood is mentioned, Fluff, Hanahaki Disease, Happy Ending, M/M, i dont do well with angst, kinda sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-25
Updated: 2019-11-25
Packaged: 2021-02-25 23:01:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,768
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21563425
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StopProcrastinating/pseuds/StopProcrastinating
Summary: Chan didn`t choose to fall in love with his best friend, but what can you do?Another Stray Kids hanahaki disease AU, because there can never be enough.
Relationships: Bang Chan/Kim Woojin
Comments: 2
Kudos: 64





	Pink Camellias

It had started as any other day; he was meeting up with Woojin later to catch up. They hadn`t seen each other for a week, both having been busy with work. They were meeting at their spot, a little bench in a secluded area at the local park.

Chan was already there, excited to see his best friend again, but when he saw him, something caught in his throat. He just waved it of as a cold, December was approaching fast.

The second Woojin was within arm’s reach, Chan pulled him in for a hug. The older always gave the best hugs, warm and soft. This also made Woojin perfect for cuddling, which Chan took advantage of often.

“I missed you.” He murmured into Woojin`s jacket clad shoulder.

“We saw each other seven days ago.”

“Way to long without a hug.” Woojin chuckled then before replying. “I missed you too.”

They made their way back to Chan`s apartment when it started getting dark. Which, to be fair, wasn`t that late, it was the middle of November, the month where you could wake up in darkness and by the time you got home, it was just as pitch black as when you left for work.

Chan loved it.

Apparently, Woojin had invited all their friends, and Chan really regretted giving Changbin a spare key to his home. Chan knew Changbin wouldn`t let anyone else in, that was why Chan gave it to him in the first place, but then he got together with Felix. To make a not-so-long story even shorter: Changbin is whipped for the boy. And everyone knows it. Which is why Chan isn`t surprised to see Seungmin and Jisung there as well. They were Felix`s best friends after all, and since both had boyfriends, Chan wasn`t really shocked to see Minho and Hyunjin there too.

Jeongin especially, didn`t come as a surprise. Everyone was whipped for the youngest.

No matter how happy Chan was to see them all, he really wanted just one afternoon alone with Woojin, but what was done, was done, and he was going to make the best of it.

Therefore, they all decided on watching a movie. This time it was Felix`s turn to choose, and despite being a scaredy-cat, he chose a horror movie. Chan, Jisung and Hyunjin groaned.

“Why do you always do this, Lix? You know we can`t handle that shit!” Hyunjin complained.

Jisung just sighed, before walking to Minho who was sat in one of the two armchairs. Plopping down, he wiggled until he found a comfortable position, and leaned into Minho`s chest, who in return wrapped his arms around his waist and hooked his chin over Jisung`s shoulder.

The movie went okay at first, only Hyunjin had screamed so far (right into Seungmin`s ear as well), but they were only half an hour in.

Chan was comfortably tucked into Woojin`s side, who had an arm wrapped around him, making Chan`s heart beat a little faster, but it was probably only because of the horror movie playing.

Another thirty minutes in, Chan could see Jisung using Minho`s hands to cover his eyes, Hyunjin snuggled further into Seungmin, and Felix buried his face in Changbin`s neck.

Just when the main characters were turning a corner in the movie, and the music was started to get louder, Chan was shaking slightly, and Woojin (being the saint he was) tightened his arm around the blonde. Chan stiffened even more then, before melting completely into Woojin. They stayed like that for a while, but then, Chan felt something tickling his throat again. He brushed it off, expecting it to go away, but unfortunately, that didn`t happen. The urge to cough just became stronger and stronger until Chan covered his mouth with his free hand and gave in.

He expected that to be it. What he didn`t expect was for a delicate petal to lay there innocently in the palm of his hand. Chan shot up, immediately regretting it when he felt the warmth from Woojin missing, but he had to go to the bathroom and throw it away.

Minho shot him a questioning look from where he was sitting, but Chan just smiled at him. “I just have to go to the bathroom.” Minho deemed that good enough it seemed, as he just nodded before resuming watching the TV.

Before Chan could move towards the bathroom however, Woojin`s hand shot out and took his own. He looked at Chan with such care in his eyes, the younger wanted to cry. “Are you okay?” Woojin asked softly. Chan could only nod, forcing another smile before gently prying Woojin`s fingers off his wrist.

He made it to the bathroom just in time it seemed.

It wasn`t supposed to get this far.

But then again, how could you stop feelings?

Chan was leaning over the toilet, heaving and coughing into the bowl. At first nothing came, but then, petals, pink ones, from the Camellia flowers, just like the one his mom used to grow. Chan had long ago learned the different meanings of flowers. It was basic knowledge in a world where the hanahaki disease existed. Pink camellias; Longing for someone.

He didn`t know when his feelings became more than platonic, perhaps they always were. Maybe all the glances, hugs, cuddling sessions, and handholding had always been more than that for him. Maybe he thought Woojin felt the same.

It was his own fault really, for giving himself false hope. Maybe he could have started the process of moving on long ago, but Chan was so desperate, he didn`t want to move on. He wanted Woojin. His best friend of 2 years.

“Chan? Are you okay in there? Are you sick?” The voice was muffled by the door, but Chan could recognize it anywhere. Woojin.

“Yeah.” Another cough. More petals. “It`s just a cold.”

“Are you sure? It sounds kind of extreme for a cold?”

“I promise, Wooj, I`m fine.”

He could practically feel Woojin having an internal struggle on whether or not he should ask again, but at last, he didn`t, and Chan was glad. Woojin didn`t need to know this.

What could he do anyway?

////////

Days went by, and Chan only got worse. He was so out of it, he didn`t notice his friends noticing. He didn`t even notice himself looking worse with each passing day.

The circles under his eyes were darker, his skin paler. He staggered sometimes when he walked, and he couldn`t count the times he had excused himself to the bathroom.

A cold, he said. That`s all it is.

His friends didn`t believe him anymore.

That’s why, when they were hanging out at Jisung`s and Minho`s place, Felix decided to do something.

They had just started a movie, Jeongin was choosing this time, and since Christmas was only five days away, he decided that they just had to watch Love, Actually for the   
hundredth time.

They were only five minutes in when Chan excused himself. He could feel the petals in his mouth already. It wasn`t a pleasant feeling.

They weren`t only pink camellia`s anymore, they had changed to red carnations (my heart aches, admiration), and then to red roses (love). That was coming up from his lungs now. Normally, he loved roses. Orange, pink, purple, red. The flower was beautiful. It wasn`t as pretty when it came up from his throat covered in blood though.

He barely made it before he coughed into the sink. Petals floated everywhere, and before Chan had a chance to pick them up and flush them down the toilet, a soft voice could be heard from behind him.

“Hyung…”

Chan spun round, ready to throw out every excuse his brain could muster, but as he saw the broken expression on Felix`s face, he didn`t want to. Chan sagged forwards, he was so incredibly tired, he just wanted to go to sleep and never wake up.

Felix just barely managed to catch him, struggling to keep him upwards before giving up and sitting himself down on the bathroom floor. Felix placed Chan`s head in his lap, carding his fingers through the blonde curls.

Chan was barely there anymore, his throat was raw, and his palms were spotted with blood, but he couldn`t exactly see his hand that well. His vision was kind of blurry, he could barely see Felix, but he could see the furrow between his brows, and he could see his mouth forming words. Very loud words.

Shit. Woojin couldn`t know. Chan frantically searched around for Felix`s hand with the little strength he had left. “You can`t-” He rasped out, coughing a little to clear his throat before continuing. “Woojin can`t know okay?”

Felix looked at him confused. “Why can`t Woojin know- oh.” Tears started to fill his eyes. “But why? Can`t you just tell him? Maybe he can help??”

“Who can help with what?” Changbin`s voice broke through, but faltered when he saw Chan on the floor. His eyes flickered to the sink where most of the petals still were and understanding filled his eyes. “Oh.”

Chan`s eyes steeled. “You cannot tell Woojin. Neither of you. I don`t want that kind of pressure on him, nor do I want him to feel guilty over something he can`t control.”

Felix looked ready to argue, but Changbin spoke up first. “Okay Hyung, if that`s truly what you want.”

“How can you just agree to that?!” Felix sputtered. “This is life or death!”

“Because if that was me and you were Woojin in this scenario, I wouldn`t want you to know either.” Changbin said, his tone final.

Felix hung his head in defeat. “If that`s truly what you want, Hyung…”

Chan looked at them both, grateful. “It is, thank you.” He said sincerely. “Now, please help me clean this up.”

////////

Chan knew he had a week tops before death would drag him along. He had so much he wanted to do. He wanted to travel, make music, go back to Australia again. There was no   
time for any of that now, he had wasted it pining over his best friend who didn`t even love him back.

Felix and Changbin came over regularly, bringing Jeongin or Jisung sometimes, who in turn brought Minho, Seungmin and Hyunjin. They all knew at this point. It was practically impossible to hide the petals anymore, but Woojin was still oblivious as to why his best friend was stuck in bed.

He thought it was an illness that would go away after some weeks of medication. Chan felt bad about lying to him. They all did. But Chan would rather die (and he supposed, now he will), than let Woojin think this was his fault.

They still hung out sometimes, but never alone. They still held hands, they still hugged, they still cuddled, but every time, Chan had to suppress a cough.

Everyone was at his apartment now, watching their last movie together as all nine of them. The only who didn`t know was Woojin, and he was really confused as to why everyone was crying during the first twenty minute of Crazy Rich Asians.

It all happened at once after that. Chan got up to get a glass of water, but he couldn`t stop the cough that time. Then it all went black.

////////

The only sound that could be heard throughout the hospital room was the beeping of the machine keeping Chan alive. Barely at that.

Woojin was paralyzed. He couldn`t move. He could barely remember the ride there. Chan had just stood up to get a drink and the next thing Woojin knew, he was laying on the floor and Felix had called an ambulance.

Now he was angry at himself. He had seen what was laying next to Chan before Changbin snatched it and threw it in the trash. A blood red rose petal. Woojin knew what that meant.

He should have known. All the coughing, the dark circles under his eyes, the fatigue. All the signs he had learned to identify when he was small were there. But he had been too ignorant, too afraid to admit it, because that would have made everything real.

Now his best friend was laying in a hospital bed, and it was too late.

It was too late for Woojin to confess everything.

Minho, being the most emotionally stable at the moment, saw what Woojin wanted, but was too polite to ask. He leaned down quickly to whisper something in Jisung`s ear who nodded, and spread the word to Felix and Changbin, Seungmin and Hyunjin, and lastly Jeongin.

“I`m hungry, do you want to go and get some food?” Minho looked at everyone, practically forcing them to say yes, even if they had already planned to.

Everyone but Woojin nodded, and the rest of them quietly shuffled towards the door, before walking towards the hospital canteen. Minho turned around last second to cast a last glance at his friend, before shutting the door behind him.

When they were out of the room, Woojin let out a shuttering breath and stood up. Carefully, he made his way towards Chan`s bedside, and took his hand.

“I`m sorry I didn`t realize you were sick, I`m sorry I wasn`t there for you when you needed me, but most of all I`m sorry,” Woojin inhaled, “that I never got to say that I love you too.” It came out in one breath.

He had been in love with Chan for exactly four days. Well, technically longer, but it took a long time before he realized it. When you are so used to be that affectionate with a friend, feelings sneak up on you like a goddamned assassin. Woojin was affectionate with all his friends, Chan was as well, so when he looked down at Chan`s lips those four days ago and the thought “I really want to kiss him” had popped up in his head, he had been shocked. And really, really confused.

Was that normal thoughts to have about a friend? According to BuzzFeed, it was not.

It had hit him like a train. He, Kim Woojin, was in love with his best friend. Who was now laying in a hospital bed because he couldn`t realize his feelings earlier.

“Please don`t die.” Woojin choked out through tears. “Please, I love you, don`t leave me.” His voice cracked at the end, and he couldn`t see anything through his tears anymore. He leaned down to press his forehead against Chan`s, savoring the feeling of being this close to him one last time.

Warm tears fell onto Chan`s face, but Woojin couldn`t find it in himself to care. In the background he could hear coughing, Minho and everyone else must be back. Woojin didn`t turn to greet them, he was to busy saying goodbye, but he didn`t hear any footsteps approaching.

He opened his eyes to look around but was met with the most beautiful pair of eyes he had ever seen, staring at him in wonder.

Woojin leaned back a little, and Chan coughed once again. This time though, they weren`t pink or red, they were white rose petals; a new beginning, a fresh start.

“I love you too.” Chan said softly.

It felt like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders, but an even heavier one had taken it`s place. Woojin cupped Chan`s face with his hands. “I am so sorry, Channie.”

“It`s not your fault, Wooj.”

“How can you say that?!” Woojin looked at Chan incredulously. How was it not his fault? “If I had just known-” Chan cut him off before he could get any further. “You can`t force feelings, Woojinnie, you and I both know that, so don`t you dare blame yourself.” Chan`s eyes were hard, but full of adoration at the same time. Woojin fell a little more.

“Okay.” He said defeated. Chan seemed satisfied. “Good.”

Chan finally felt like he could breathe again, now that his lungs weren`t filled with flowers, and every time Woojin pressed their lips together, it just became easier and easier, like thorns being plucked from a rose.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading it;3


End file.
